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The Fairmer Wants a Wife

By Alan Cochrane


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A Box-office hit during the 2000 Edinburgh Fringe, this romantic comedy is set in the year 1822. All of Scotland is agog with anticipation of the impending State visit by King George IV, none more so than the Laird of Hawthornden, Sir Robert Drummond. Widowed for many years, he decides that he desperately needs a wife, if he is to be invited to the many Royal Balls and Banquets. A conniving widow quickly ensnares Sir Robert whilst he is nursing a sprained ankle, and her grasping brother sets his sights on the Laird's young daughter. The fact that he is a bigamist and a thief being conveniently forgotten. The daughter, however, has already secretly fallen in love with a penniless artist who, unbeknown to her, is in fact the very suitor her father has arranged for her to marry. The maidservant overhears this disclosure, and naturally reports back to her young mistress, who plays her errant lover and father at their own game. To complicate matters further, the Laird's sister hatches a plot with the housekeeper to win the Laird away from the widow, with hilarious results. Mix in an old Laird, with a roving eye and hands to match; a scatty maidservant, the awful weather, and a German Baroness who is not all she appears. The result is an evening filled with laughter as the twists and turns of the story unfold.